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Showing posts from September, 2020

I thought...

I forgot when I got lost I forgot what it would cost I forgot we need a psych I forgot what it felt like I forgot how to speak I forgot that I am unique I forgot bout the attacks I forgot just how to act I forgot how to breathe I forgot grinding teeth I forgot to get sleep I forgot how to leap I forgot to rise and grind I forgot to make up my mind I forgot about the hurt I forgot about the dirt I forgot I need to be high I forgot my reasons why I forgot how to be me I forgot the feeling of free I remember being a girl I remember a cruel world I remember father’s lessons I remember her impressions I remember my first friend. I remember making amends I remember how to dance  I remember taking a chance I remember every fight I remember being right I remember every word I remember all I heard  I remember every single lyric I remember becoming arthritic   I remember it’s been a while I remember I used to smile I remember I became a mom I remember feelings of calm I rememb...

Dear Millennials

My hope for you is this... Do WTF feels good! 4get being misunderstood. Smile, Cry, Fuck the rest!  Love, Hurt, Live ya best!  Don’t waste your youth. Just live your truth!  Move and speak with love, All will be taken care of.  -NivaDiva

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   Dear Diva, It's been more than a fist full of years, since I last opened up about anything.  TBH, I came back and read everything that I had posted, the past. I hate to admit but IDK WTF that is. I recognize her hustle, it's familiar. All that other noise was just trying to damn hard to make my old ME, matter. To who tho? Fit in? TF? You see my dilemma.  Slap myself! I love who I was and hate her at the same damn time. She was trying to make a life for her family in a bubble. She was really trying to keep up with everyone else. She was trying to fit in with the environment, we made a home. She wasn't as happy as each blog, made it seem. She was happy with her life, just not herself. She saw a failure, in every mirror she looked into. Sh did and said things, I can't even explain. She had so much fun. She also had alot of drama. She got caught up. She lost her way. She was no longer someone I recognized . She is me. I am she. I've been a bit of a beautiful mess. I ...